Dr. Gathing shared that narcissistic personalities are big and loud because they are attempts at quieting deep insecurities. At the core of every narcissist is someone who is hurting. She said narcissists by nature don't take criticism well, and they commonly lash out at the person who is trying to help them. They often suffer from addiction because they try to use something they can control to mask their pain.
It's like a person whose leg is caught in a bear trap, but they pretend that the trap is a fancy accessory. When someone tries to call them on their behavior, it's a direct jab to that injured leg and they'll often lash out with all their might, not unlike a wounded animal. It's almost a fight or flight instinct for them to try and defend that injury. If someone in their life tries to tell them that they might have a problem, narcissists often fly into a rage and, instead, say anything they can in order to hurt that person. In other cases, they completely shut that person down and refuse to talk to them.
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